Eddie Izzard on archaeology
"And they always find in archaeology a series of small walls. Every time, a series of small walls.
Everywhere you go. "We've found a series of small walls, we're very excited! We think this proves they had walls in olden days. They were very small, and a series of small wall people."
And then someone comes along, very learned, with glasses and says: "Of course, the king and queen entertained here! 1,500 courtiers, and there were soldiers, 20,000 soldiers in this room, and elephants dancing hopscotch over there! A mad fiddler in this room, playing the banjo, viaducts and aqueducts into a heater!"
And you're just watching, and going, "You're making this up, mate! You just point at a series of small walls, going, 'There, there! Tutankhamen playing banjo in there!'" Don't know if it's true."